Serendipity
Bringing in the New Year always heralds a fresh start for me. I am very fond of my midnight traditions and often superstitiously pay attention to the mood in our home as we carry our New Year tray across the threshold. Our family tradition is to create a tray before midnight which holds symbols of our basic needs, hopes and intentions for the forthcoming year. This is placed in our front porch before midnight and we leave the house by the back door, symbolically taking the rubbish out with us as we go. (Sweeping out the old to make room for the new).
For us 2011 was a year that quickened in pace as it progressed, culminating in the opening of our Wooden Toy Store at Inverness Airport and a Christmas visit from my farther in law. These two events along with the death of a friend at the beginning of Advent have been very significant in bringing me into conscious awareness of what it means to me to be part of a loving family, and where my personal balance between work and leisure time lies.
Setting up and running our new shop, combined with meeting our commitments to our winter events with Nok On Wood and my daily work in Kindergarten culminated in the loss of leisure and relaxation time with family and friends. So when both my husband and I wanted to attend the funeral of our friend Philip Rogers who had been living very graciously with cancer (see his blog), I made the decision to close the shop for the day. Sitting in the memorial service with my husband and son, surrounded by the community of people who knew Philip, brought my awareness to the current lack of balance in my life and the realization that this simple act of coming together and sharing our heart’s song is fundamental to human well-being. Philip’s journey with cancer was remarkable and he left a wonderful legacy in his blog postings which was enhanced by his partner’s sharing of their last week together. It is in times like these that we come to truly appreciate each other and value our connections.
Until we opened the shop, Sunday was our family leisure day which included Taize singing at the Findhorn Foundation and meeting up with friends for brunch in the morning. I have always valued the simplicity of this tradition and although I enjoy being at the airport on a Sunday, I dearly miss the sacredness of my Sunday mornings. A big part of this was meeting up with my friends Kathy White (see Joyful Parents) and her husband, and sharing reviews of our week’s activities which inevitably included discussions about family life. Just before Christmas, I had a free Sunday which enabled me to reconnect with my friends. In our conversation I shared some of our current struggles in our family dynamics. Kathy mentioned that she had been reading a book entitled Simplicity Parenting and in her usual gracious way helped me to see clearly how the shift of our familyroutine could be affecting my son’s sense of security. Intrigued I looked up the Simplicity Parenting book when I got home and added it to my Christmas wish list.
Having my father in law to stay over Christmas had a two-fold effect on our family. Firstly there was the necessity to clear the spare bedroom of all the clutter it had accrued to give him somewhere to sleep and then clear the playroom to make room for all the new toys that family and Santa were about to bestow on my son. It felt lovely to make some space in our home and it was fantastic to actually be able to step into the playroom again without the risk of tripping over the scattered toys. The second effect was acknowledging the inner struggle we were having with the mixed emotions we felt about having Grandad to stay. Although we love and appreciate him, we each had our varying difficulties in our relationship with him. Having him stay with us for a long time mean’t acknowledging and accepting these feelings and finding ways of working through them so that we could remain open hearted with him. We said goodbye to Grandad on New Year’s Eve with a mixture of relief, sadness and exasperation that he finds it so difficult accept and take care of himself. All in all a very enriching experience.
Our New Year’s celebrations took us out to be with friends and family and culminated in carrying our tray across the threshold when we returned home. As I mentioned earlier, I always tend to note the mood of the family as we cross the threshold at New Year, hoping for a tranquil harmonious atmosphere that will carry us forward throughout the year. As they struggled with lighting the candle on the tray my son and husband niggled at each other and then there was a tussle over who entered the house first. I stifled a sigh of exasperation and thought to myself ‘Lovely, this is a great way to start the year!’. But when I reflected on it later I recognised that although we are currently struggling with the undercurrents of parenting a nine year old, basically we do love each other dearly and enjoy sharing our lives together. So my resolution was to work towards bringing that loving connection more into the light.
New Years Day was a gentle day sharing time together at home. I picked up my new Simplicity Parenting book and discovered that it held exactly what I needed: suggestions for clearing the clutter (physical and metaphorical), improving our relationships and making our home life a loving, secure place for my son to flourish in. So here I am starting my new journey into 2012 with clearing the physical clutter and making room for balance and love in my life, my home and my relationships.
Click here to visit Simplicity Parenting Shop.
I’m Bored!
It seems to me that the age of technology has done little in the way of creating more leisure time and life seems to be busier than it ever was for most people. OK, so we are not slaves to the kitchen sink or the 9-5 in the same way our grandparents were and there are definitely a lot more choices for a flexible lifestyle. But this often means work and leisure time overlap and we have to be careful to get the balance right. Not only for ourselves but for our families and in particular for setting good examples for our children.
Do we want our children to grow up believing that adult life is only about work? Or do we want them to have a good balance of work, rest and play. Are we setting good examples in the choice of work we do? Do you love your work or is it just a means of income? What messages do we give our children in our own attitude to work and leisure activities? Is it preferable to work long hours to achieve a higher income, or to work less and have more time for family and friends? These are personal choices we all make and everyone’s will be slightly different. There is no right or wrong, except in making our choices more consciously.
Within our fast paced, consumerist society it is easy to get caught up in feeling we need the latest gadgets, that we have to feed our children’s thirst for technology and that every moment of the day must have meaning and focus. With so much technology in our lives, it is easy to forget the value of sitting quietly. In our times even relaxation is worked at with intense meditation, exercise or relaxation techniques taking the place of just sitting twiddling our thumbs. The toll on our ourselves and our children is great.
There is also a lot of pressure on parents to feel they have to give every spare minute they have to entertaining their children, but as a friend reminded me this week it is really valuable for children to have some ‘down time’ where they experience boredom. When my son says ‘I’m bored’ I feel under pressure to entertain him, but I know from personal experience that if I leave him to find his own way through the boredom he moves into a much more imaginative creative play space which would not happen if I rescued him or put the TV on. He may just sit for a while, and that is the hardest bit for parents. I know my ‘shoulds’ and ‘coulds’ come screaming out at me when it happens. 
But I have to take a breath and allow the boredom space to breath into something new and creative. It may be that he picks up a piece of paper and gradually his imagination takes hold and the piece of paper is twiddled into a shape that inspires a creation or game. Or sometimes his thoughts just have time to run along a path that inspires something new. Eventually he will take himself off and be absorbed for hours in his play.
This is one of the main reasons it is useful to provide children with unstructured or versatile toys. Items that can be converted into a multitude of things or that inspire children to be creative in their play. You can never under-estimate the value of a cardboard box, a ball of string and a roll of sticky tape.
Wooden toys give today’s children that healthy alternative. The natural qualities of wood help keep their connection with nature and the simplicity of their construction allows a child’s imagination to take a major role in their play activities. Many people believe that wooden toys are just for toddlers and forget the value they have for older children. I recently overheard a customer say to her four-year old that he was too old for our humming top. Why is that? Is it that we fear our children will quickly become bored with it, or do we feel pressured to always push them along into more complicated play? I remember enjoying the simple pleasure of this toy when I was 9 or 10. Indeed I still enjoy it today, as most adults who visit us do. What are we telling our children when we say they are too old to enjoy something?
My silent plea is often give children a chance, and I expect that if you have read this far you probably share these values. I do believe there is a place for technology in children’s lives, but I also know from experience that it is not necessary when they are very young. It is easy to get swept up in wanting to give our children everything now. But there is also immense value in saying you are too young for that. Allowing our children to grow up at a slower pace gives them the opportunity to enjoy their childhood for longer. As childcare professionals are realizing there is a lot to be learned through play and the new trend in Scottish schools is to encourage opportunities for this.
Creating Schultüten (School Cones)
A few years ago a friend introduced me to this delightful German tradition when she purchased some toys from me for the cone she was making for her niece. I next came across the tradition when my son started his first day at school and some of the German children in his class had them. It is such a lovely idea that I thought I would like to share it here with you.
History
Googling the words “School Cone” immediately brought up several sources of information. I discovered that the German word is Schultüte which directly translates as School Bag, but it is clearly always a cone that is used. The first records we have of the tradition go back to the early 1800′s where they were seen in some of the larger German cities. It took a little while for the tradition to spread through to the smaller towns, but it did and I can now see that other countries are beginning to take it up, and not just for children starting school for the first time – in some places it is be
coming a tradition that happens on the first day of school each year. Well, with something as lovely as this it is hardly surprising that everyone wants a bit of it.
The saying goes that initially the cones were made by parents or close family members, labelled with the child’s name and given to the school teacher who then hung them on a tree or metal frame known as the “Schultüten-Baum”. The children were given the story that the tree held the ripened fruits for the children who were ready to start school. They were then led to the tree where they had to find and “pick” their “fruit” (school cone). I am not sure if the tradition of the tree widely remains, it seems that nowadays the children are given the cone by their parents before they go to school and in some cases they help to make them, but it still remains a special rite of passage to mark the first day of school.
It seems that traditionally the cones were filled with sweets and small treats. More recently the sweets have become less (which in my opinion is good news) and the treats include practical things for school as well as more modern gifts that the children will enjoy. Sadly the cones are changing in appearance becoming more gaudy and less creative. Looking online I discovered that there is a commercial enterprise starting to grow out of making them, which to me really takes away the personal creative input of the family members that makes the tradition so special.
How to Make a Schultüte
There are different methods of making the cone, and the key is to use your own creativity to make it personal. Simply though, the main body of the cone is made from a large sheet of flexible card, rolled around into a cone shape with the points trimmed off the top. The cone is then beautifully decorated and the child’s name added to it. Next the top is created so that it can be closed off. For example a strip of crepe or tissue paper can be stapled around the top edge of the cone and then drawn upwards (so that the staples are hidden). Once the cone has been filled the top is tied with a ribbon to seal it. An online search will give you lots of creative ideas and I have added a link below to a site I found useful.
Filling the Cone
The cone can be filled with gifts such as stationery items that can be used in school or at home, fruit or snacks for break time or small items such as gloves, a hat, torch or reflective strips that will be useful as the darker nights draw in. Games and toys for the playground are also a popular options for example, skipping ropes; a yo-yo; Chinese jump ropes; etc. We have a large selection of small items on our website, particularly in our Party Treats category and a few more in Kids (6+ age range).
Here is an image of one of the websites I found that show you how to make a Schultüte. I recommend visiting this site as it includes many other bits of information and activities that you might enjoy (click on the image to go there or copy and paste the url into your browser.
http://www.ukgermanconnection.org/make_schultuete
