Stories and Fairytales – Tools for Transformation

This week we received the gift of a dying baby rabbit into one of our Kindergarten groups.  I say a gift, because that is what we and the children received in the experiences that unfolded throughout the morning.  The initial reaction of the children was to want to hold and nurse it, but their teacher quickly realized that it was a serious injury and the rabbit was not going to live.  So a nest was made and some of the children went into the garden to find leaves and grass while the rest gathered around and gently sang to it.

Later whilst the children played, unusually quietly and conscious of their sick visitor, their teacher sat beside and softly played the lyre.  When the baby finally passed away we took it into the garden, dug a grave, gathered leaves to line and decorate it and lay the rabbit gently to rest.  A song was sung and loving gifts were offered.  At story time the teacher of the group created a story about a caterpillar who was sadly missed by it’s friends when it was gone, but rejoiced when they saw the transformation and release that came when it re-emerged as a butterfly.

Earlier in this school year a child was leaving one of our kindergarten groups to join another.   This is an unusual occurrence in our school that undoubtedly brings up concerns for all involved.  Handled badly it could have left the children feeling insecure or uncertain of their place in the group.  Fortunately the kindergarten teacher was sensitive to this and in the days prior to the child leaving, she wrote a story that supported the occasion, providing support for the child who was going and offering reassurance to those who remained.

For the well being of the child concerned this was a passage that needed to be recognised, however if overstated it could cause uncertainty and draw attention to the unusual nature of the move.  The teacher created a simple ceremony that was performed with great sensitivity in an understated way that supported the well being of the child that was moving and yet didn’t draw too much attention to the occasion for the rest of the group.

In both of the above instances the teacher of the kindergarten group was able to bring her sensitivity to each occasion and draw on her training to create ceremonies and stories that supported the children through these events.  Her life experiences and training as a Waldorf Kindergarten Teacher has taught her the value of bringing story and ceremony into use to support the well being of the children in her care.

Along with the splendour of today’s Royal Wedding which brought a nation together in celebration, these are wonderful examples of how stories and ceremony support rites of passage and provide support in times of uncertainty.  They remind me of the value of age old myths and fairy tales and the place of ceremony in shaping and supporting community and family life throughout the centuries.

The above kindergarten examples are just two of many that I have come across through my work and study.  Our school is dedicated to keeping children’s imaginations alive and active so that they have this resource still available to them as adults, and stories play a valuable part in this.  My personal experiences have widened my understanding of the importance of myths, stories and fairy tales for children of all ages.

Imagination and healthy curiosity are two key ingredients to learning that are often undervalued.  Teaching is not about cramming children’s minds with facts and figures, it is about inviting them to discover for themselves, actively engaging their curiosity in the world around them and allowing them the opportunities to take what they discover into the inner world of imagination and creativity.  Only in this is there the possibility for new learning, new understanding and new innovation.

“To raise new questions, new possibilities, to regard old problems from a new angle, requires creative imagination and marks real advance in science.” 
Albert Einstein

Not only is imagination the key to intellectual development, it is a vital aspect of our social and emotional well being.  It is here that story really comes into its own.  When we stop to consider it, we discover that our whole lives are made up of stories.  From our personal biographies, to the tales we share in conversation with each other and the stories (positive and negative) that we play out in our minds.  Stories even fill our dream world.  The wisdom of spiritual leaders, the spin of politicians, all the world consists of story.

How then do we ensure we are feeding ourselves and our children with the stories that support us rather than those that hold us back?  As adults we have the power to make conscious choices about what we believe to be true and what we strive to create.  We will find stories that support our beliefs, and create fantasies around reality to reinforce our view of the world.  With enough self awareness we can transcend the stories that hold us back and develop those that provide the building blocks to support our personal aspirations and deeper connections with each other and our environment.

“I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge – myth is more potent than history – dreams are more powerful than facts – hope always triumphs over experience – laughter is the cure for grief – love is stronger than death.” 
Robert Fulghum

Robert Fulghum offers some wonderful books full of stories taken from life experiences that have delighted and inspired me for many years.  Stories have the capacity to reach into the heart and touch us deeply.  Nourishing our children with stories appropriate to their stage of development is one of the greatest gifts we can give them.

Most parents will recognise the social and emotional value of sharing a story book with their children.  Books are fantastic for calming a hyperactive child or soothing an upset.  The intimacy of sitting close together and the rhythm and tone of voice of the story teller are wonderful ingredients.  But that is not all that counts.  The content of a good story offered to children at an age that is appropriate to their understanding is undoubtedly more valuable than preaching morals, reprimanding inappropriate behaviour or even offering intellectual answers to simple questions.

A child of three who asks why the moon follows him in the sky, doesn’t need to know the laws of physics that create this illusion, they need the reassurance that the moon is a friendly presence who will be there taking care of them through the night (read ‘I Took The Moon For A Walk’ by Barefoot Books).

Equally important an older child, who is starting to feel uncertain about the world and realize that it isn’t always as predictable as they thought, needs stories that support their first independent steps and reassures them of their place in the world.  At this stage Aesop’s Fables and the stories of Hans Christian Anderson can offer solutions that support their social and emotional development.

Stories are a wonderful medium for resolving conflict and helping children find solutions to difficult situations.  There is a wonderful book by Susan Perrow entitled ‘Healing Stories for Challenging Behaviour’ which is a favourite with the teachers in our school.  It offers some wonderful stories that can be read to a group without drawing attention to the challenging behaviour in question, allowing the children to meet the challenge in a non confrontational way and find the solutions from within themselves.

In addition to stories in books, we also support our children by recounting stories from our own lives and those of our parents and grandparents.  I wonder how many stories you remember that loved ones shared with you when you were a child.  Through these stories we pass down our own heritage, share our values and shape the imaginations of our children.

Add to this our daily family rhythms, traditions and festivals, and without even being fully aware of it we can be weaving a wonderful web of security and well being around the children in our lives.  As parents and carers this offers the challenge to remain conscious of the impact of the stories and traditions we share with our children and how this supports their social, emotional and intellectual development.  It seems sad to me that in our society we have lost the deeper meaning of our festivals, celebrations and traditional rites of passage.  We have just celebrated Easter and are about to embrace May Day.  I wonder how many of us have considered the mythological and historical significance of these festivals and how we could find elements in the finer qualities of these celebrations that have significance in our lives today.

A few years ago I had the good fortune to attend the 50^th Birthday celebrations of a friend who very consciously created a rite of passage for herself.  It was an honour to be a part of it and it holds a deep significance for me as I approach my own 50^th year.  As a parent, I am keenly aware of the inner transitions that my son undergoes as he approaches each birthday.  Maybe it is because I am a mature parent that I notice this, but it seems to me that childhood is filled with milestones that are often overlooked and undervalued in a world that is so focused on adult achievement.  Our children need the time to face each challenge life brings at their own pace.  They need the opportunity to fully integrate life’s lessons and find the stories and traditional values that support them through their adult lives.