I’m Bored!

It seems to me that the age of technology has done little in the way of creating more leisure time and life seems to be busier than it ever was for most people.  OK, so we are not slaves to the kitchen sink or the 9-5 in the same way our grandparents were and there are definitely a lot more choices for a flexible lifestyle.  But this often means work and leisure time overlap and we  have to be careful to get the balance right.  Not only for ourselves but for our families and in particular for setting good examples for our children.

Do we want our children to grow up believing that adult life is only about work?  Or do we want them to have a good balance of work, rest and play.  Are we setting good examples in the choice of work we do?  Do you love your work or is it just a means of income?  What messages do we give our children in our own attitude to work and leisure activities?  Is it preferable to work long hours to achieve a higher income, or to work less and have more time for family and friends?  These are personal choices we all make and everyone’s will be slightly different.  There is no right or wrong, except in making our choices more consciously.

Within our fast paced, consumerist society it is easy to get caught up in feeling we need the latest gadgets, that we have to feed our children’s thirst for technology and that every moment of the day must have meaning and focus.  With so much technology in our lives, it is easy to forget the value of sitting quietly.  In our times even relaxation is worked at with intense meditation, exercise or relaxation techniques taking the place of just sitting twiddling our thumbs.  The toll on our ourselves and our children is great.

There is also a lot of pressure on parents to feel they have to give every spare minute they have to entertaining their children, but as a friend reminded me this week it is really valuable for children to have some ‘down time’ where they experience boredom.  When my son says ‘I’m bored’ I feel under pressure to entertain him, but I know from personal experience that if I leave him to find his own way through the boredom he moves into a much more imaginative creative play space which would not happen if I rescued him or put the TV on.  He may just sit for a while, and that is the hardest bit for parents.  I know my ‘shoulds’ and ‘coulds’ come screaming out at me when it happens.  But I have to take a breath and allow the boredom space to breath into something new and creative.  It may be that he picks up a piece of paper and gradually his imagination takes hold and the piece of paper is twiddled into a shape that inspires a creation or game.  Or sometimes his thoughts just have time to run along a path that inspires something new.  Eventually he will take himself off and be absorbed for hours in his play.

This is one of the main reasons it is useful to provide children with unstructured or versatile toys.  Items that can be converted into a multitude of things or that inspire children to be creative in their play.  You can never under-estimate the value of a cardboard box, a ball of string and a roll of sticky tape.

Wooden toys give today’s children that healthy alternative.  The natural qualities of wood help keep their connection with nature and the simplicity of their construction allows a child’s imagination to take a major role in their play activities.  Many people believe that wooden toys are just for toddlers and forget the value they have for older children.  I recently overheard a customer say to her four-year old that he was too old for our humming top.  Why is that?  Is it that we fear our children will quickly become bored with it, or do we feel pressured to always push them along into more complicated play?  I remember enjoying the simple pleasure of this toy when I was 9 or 10.  Indeed I still enjoy it today, as most adults who visit us do.   What are we telling our children when we say they are too old to enjoy something?

My silent plea is often give children a chance, and I expect that if you have read this far you probably share these values.  I do believe there is a place for technology in children’s lives, but I also know from experience that it is not necessary when they are very young.  It is easy to get swept up in wanting to give our children everything now.  But there is also immense value in saying you are too young for that.  Allowing our children to grow up at a slower pace gives them the opportunity to enjoy their childhood for longer.  As childcare professionals are realizing there is a lot to be learned through play and the new trend in Scottish schools is to encourage opportunities for this.